Saturday, October 21, 2006
[EDIT/]This is a letter to someone.Though she does not read blogs,at least I hope this could make me feel better.Its ' clear who your choice is.YES,you hate me for making you do things against your will.But,I like I said certain things cant'be shared.Till now,I dont blame ness for the cause of things today.It has been you all this while.I realised it on the day of the shooting.I was upset about the tuitorial sheducle.I cried.Yet you did not do anything.Have your conscience been eaten by the stray dogs you met away?Or has it been drown in a pit of bitterness?You did not even ask why.You only pretended to be normal.You might probably think,let her cry,its s' dumb.She was never there when I crIed.so why should I be there for her? But stop to think,its' true that recent times I have not been there but why cant' you think of the past times? I found out the messages you sent to her.I was speechless by it.Cause I never knew I was THAT mean and bad in your eyes.I did not know I was such a shameless slut in your eyes.Ever since you wrote that letter, I kept thinking,what did I do to make myself look so EVIL in your eyes?I seriously dont know.Then came sunday.I send you that message.You told ness on tuesday that you think I am severing ties with you.Initially yes, cause I know i was nothing in your eyes now.Just a shameless.despicable slut who deserts her friends.You blame me for making you choose.Said that you did want to lose both.Yet you did nothing when I sent you that message.All these whiles,you wre bias against me.Judge me through tinted glasses cause of the minor incidents which caused you terrible harm.Those messages you sent to ness about this incident was piercing.You made it sound as though it was my fault for all these.Blame others but not yourself.TWO years of friendship and its' gone like this.With just a mesasge.You seem contented wiht the results.But I m' not.You bear to let go of this two years of friendahsip? Have you ever stop to think what went wrong.Bet you didnt.You were only caring bbout yourself.Only nice to those who were nice to you.When someone incurred your wrath just once,you judged them and give them a life sentence of guilt.I think I m' more or less done with this.Its' teribble to keep it bottle up.That was a perfect example of a fallen friendship.How once clsoe friends turn inot cold bitter enemies now.Whatever I do now,you will always think I m just using you.I m at my wits' end of convincing you.I m tired of this.[EDIT/]Ok,monday is dooms' day for me.Cause I think I will be getting back most of my results on monday.SIGH.I better pray tonight.lol.Since I m about to die tomorrow.let me draft out my will.AMANDA S' WILL99% OF CONCENTRATION TO MY STUDIES1% OF CONCENTRATION TO BAND PLUS FRIENDS.(LOLS)99% OF WEALTH TO ME1% OF WEALTH STILL TO ME.In case of unfortunate event or lucky event,this will shall remain like this and should not be changed without my permission.thank you.lol.OH,I did a little editing to my template.Is it nice? give comments on it.thanks.by the way,I think I m shifting again.My blog seems lifeless.hahas.Before dooms' day arrive,I think I shall go play maggiemarket games to relieve the tension.hahas.Its' really okay le.I m starting to get bored of it le.DANG.lol.
BLAH
10:53 PM
